A letter To The Fibromyalgia’s Doctor That Gave Me Hope


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Unfortunately many of us who suffer from chronic illness and chronic pain conditions have seen many doctors to get some answers or to get a plan in place to help deal with our pain and suffering but have run into a brick wall. Many of these doctors don’t seem to understand our condition or are willing to acknowledge that there is truly a physical cause of our pain. Then there are the ones who feel “it’s all in our heads”, we need to just toughen up and move on. The “take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning” mentality that some doctors have causes us stress, stress causes pain, pain causes stress, etc, etc, the vicious circle we’ve been living is draining any possible reserves we have left. All we want is to find someone who understands this and is willing to listen to us and help us get to a point where we can manage to live a little more comfortably.

It’s been such a long journey since this whole thing began. So many tests, numerous specialists, and many different doctors. Ups and downs, highs and lows, hope and frustration has lurked around every corner and every turn. I’ve asked question after question, done research, read as much as I could and brought so many thoughts and possibilities to you with a plea for help. Help to find answers, help to find a diagnosis, help to understand, and help to manage one of the worst part of all, pain. I’ve dealt with heartache, anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, lack of understanding, and not getting any answers when that’s all I ever needed, as so many of us have.

All of this started with vague symptoms, no rhyme or reason to any of it. No real pattern to it, no specific thing to relate to. At one point I found myself with a laundry list of medications, then the tests started, so many tests. But nothing, no real good reason for feeling the way I did or suffering the with the pain and fatigue I have. It seemed like no doctor could give me even an ounce of hope to figure this out and help me. Did they understand my pain? Did they get that everyday is a struggle to sometimes even get out of bed? This isn’t in my head, there really is something going on. Referrals to different doctors who tried to help but in the end, besides a diagnosis, I had nothing but that, the word on paper but no plan moving forward. Too many times I left an appointment in tears having once again heard, “I don’t know what else we can do for you,” and after spending a year on medication for a condition I was misdiagnosed with I didn’t think there was much hope.

I think more often than not many of us struggling with chronic illness just want to be heard and to have someone understand what our lives are like and to have someone care enough to work for us and to give us hope that we can maybe find some relief. But then that day came, I found someone who listened, was understanding, caring, and most of all, willing to really hear what I was saying. When I first saw you I was at a pretty low point, having had a bad reaction to a medication that made me suicidal and I didn’t feel very hopeful. We started discussing options and plans to help manage my daily struggle with pain.

For the first time in well over a year I finally have someone who seems to understand my struggle and is willing to help. I appreciate your help and empathy as you’ve tried to help me get back to some kind of normalcy. Never once did you make me feel like there was nothing wrong or that it was all in my head. When my appointments ran longer than scheduled, you never made me feel rushed and you always answered all my questions an addressed all my concerns. You’ve never belittled me when my emotions took hold and I couldn’t finish my sentence and I’ve never left an appointment with questions.

We may not have found the right combination to manage my pain yet but you haven’t given up. You have allowed me to help guide my care and allowed me to be my own advocate. Most of all you’ve given me hope. The hope that someday we will have a plan that will help me live as good a life as I can. You have helped me see that there are doctors out there who truly get the struggle we go through everyday and validate us as well as work hard to help us. Thank you for your ongoing care and concern, always.

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