Things you can do to help your friend with Depression who is Isolating Herself

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One in a 6 people will experience depression sometime in his or her life, according to the American Psychiatric Association.It’s important to recognize that depression is extremely common and, like any illness, deserves your compassion. 

Depression can also be terribly isolating, so anything you can do to help your friend stay engaged is a step in the right direction, explains Tracy Cummings, MD, a staff psychiatrist and medical director at the Lindner Center of Hope, an affiliate of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. “Even just reaching out and listening could make such a difference,” she says.

We have asked a question to our community “If a Friend With Depression Is Isolating Herself, What Things You Can Do to Help”Members have particpated in the dicsussion and share their thoughts with us. Most of them has the views that Remind her that she matters and visit her regardless of what she tells you. It may seem like she wants to push you away when she really wants you close. The biggest thing is to let them know you love and value them. When you’re depressed, it’s impossible to find any value in yourself.

Here are the few suggestion community shares with us:

1. Megan Williams says: Texting is quick and easy. And you can do it from anywhere. Text her just to say you love her. A lot.

2. Mia Marlena Cornacchio-Scherer says:  Maybe show up at her house with her favorite movie.. You don’t even have to talk. That might stress her out. Just being there will show that you care..

3. Cheryl McKim Kathe  says: A great big hug helps. Hold on to the person and let them cry. Don’t say anything just let them cry. If they want to talk, that’s fine but just listen.

4. Honaleah Marie  says: I agree. Sometimes just stopping by with coffee will help start my day on a better note. Offer to go with her to her doctors appointments if needed. Sometimes we find it hard to verbalize what we are feeling to someone other than our best friend. Go to the doctor and help fill in the gaps so the doctor can better treat her. Tell her she is loved and not alone. Thank you for being a great friend to her. Some may not go to this extent to try to understand and help. She is truly blessed

5. Nita Starkey  says: Sit and chat with your friend .ask her/him whats bothering them . Say your their to support. Tell her/him you wont judge . Make both of you a cuppa and try and ensure she/he knows their not alone. Tell her/him you will try and understand their reasons for her isolating her/himself. Just let your friend know you are there x

6. Brenda Thorn-Sheets  says:  make sure she makes at least a verbal contract with u not to harm herself or others. Offer help, make sure her family realizes her situation and go to a site that gives the warning signs of suicide. Then just be there but let her have control sometimes we just need to know that others care

7. Nick Stueben Faye Collins  says: I would buy something like chocolate and drink and sit with her and just relax and talk to her and that I would start with conversation anything whatever is on your mind and just tell her that I’m here if you need to talk and would you like to go out sometimes don’t have her left alone she might do something that isn’t good she needs a friend she needs somebody to talk to and a lot of people need someone just to be there for them when they feel blue meant sad depress or just feeling awful

8. Brenda Meeks-Gonsalves  says: Go visit her. If she isn’t ready to go out then you go in. Bring a bottle of wine, deck of cards or just Netflix and chill with her. Remind her the world is passing her by. That the world is a beautiful adventure waiting for her. Try to talk her into getting dressed and offer to take her to a national park or someplace that isn’t crowded with people but is beautiful. Walk a trail with her. Make sure to mention how great the sun feels, how cold the river is. Make her see, feel and be in the moment.

9. Nancy Burzo  says: Send a hand written note 📝and go over and just sit with them , clean their house make a meal , bring a meal , bring funny movie and watch it with them ! Just love them through your actions ! Quietly and consistently ! Don’t demand anything especially conversation but be available if they want to talk , and you can talk about funny shared experiences !

10. Ami Harrison-Orme says:  Turn up with cake and cuddles. Everyone loves cake. Don’t push her to come out, she may not feel up to it and resent you for pressing her to do it. Offer to cook with her or get a take out. Just be there. That’s all you can do xxx

11. Sunday Lynn says:  I would never confront her in a negative way. I would make a bigger effort to stop by her place with a good movie, or maybe some light gossip, and just an ear to listen if she wants to vent. You can’t force someone to get professional help if they are not ready and you could lose a friend if you push the matter. All you can do is make a little extra effort and let her know that in no uncertain terms, you are there for her no matter what.

12. Maureen Hemsworth says:  Send her something funny. I have a friend who makes me laugh and snaps me out of many a funk

13. Jamile Shamlaken says:  Tell her “ this too will pass and please because I love you hang on, I know you can “. Stay around them with love only if you have that love for them . It will pass

14. Regina Anderson-shows says:  Don’t let them push you away. Give them space but stay in touch and just be there. I do this ALL the time. Most people have left. I only have one friend that puts me in my place. The others have left. Or I have to make first contact. But that’s anyway but I rather have that one friend then all the ones that run off, or I have to contact first

15. Jac Harding says:  Just simply spending time with her & being they’re for her to talk to & listen too… that means the most out of anything, I’ve lost every single one of the friends I thought were my best friends because they just didn’t understand/want to try to understand x

16. Sureyma Tapia Wozny says:  Do aquatic exercises, low impact on your joints and muscle. I don’t know where you live but you can check with Physical therapy and see if they allow you used their pool for a small fee. My local hospital PT department let’s me used their’s for $5 for 30 minutes. I usually work around the patients.

17. Beth Lucas LauranceRae  says: And please give her space if she says she wants to have space. Sometimes our heads cannot simply cope with other people!

18. Becky Simonsen  says: Take time, love her , give her hugs invite her out to something that is not overwhelming . I do this too, when I am depressed. Sometimes just a car ride is nice

19. Julie Johnson  says: Mail her a card-or put one in her mailbox. Simply tell her you care/love her and that she is important to you and the world. Be sure to tell her that you have more you want to share with her. Identify a time you are coming to see her and that u are bringing pie.

20. Kathleen McLeod  says: Do not push the subject and just be a good friend and be there…Give her time to come out of it herself. This is a hard thing to deal with and trying to fix the person sometimes just makes them sadder…

21. Jessica Eastin  says: Be there to listen, but don’t stop seeing them, don’t let that person to completely isolate themselves. Take them to lunch, bring/send cards flowers, get them something that shows how special they are. Don’t push them to talk about what is bothering them just listen they will open up when they feel ready.

22. Penny Warren Godfrey  says: Be there, listen, share a tea or coffee, just being close by is so important to have someone around, visual sensory is almost as important as mental sensory. Be kind and loving and take things slow, try to get them help and get them to help themselves with baby steps

23. Sarah Cordrick  says: Just be there for her. Being flowers or something to surprise her. It’ll brighten the room and allow her mood to lift a little.

24. Regina Burnett  says: When I go through this my family and friends text me to see if I need anything and will bring prepared food for me to eat or run to the store for items. The best is helping to keep up with my medical needs including insurance.

25. Louwtjie Wessels  says: Just treat her like a normal person and be there for her if she had a bad day don’t judge.

Summing up:

  • Be present

  • Talk about it

  • Say, ‘Join me!’

  • Volunteer together

  • Get Moving

  • Cook a healthy meal

  • Provide pleasant distractions

So what would you do if your friend is in depression, let us know in the comments below

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