by Deb Lundquist
I don’t want to hear, they won’t listen or they won’t care. If you don’t try this you won’t know. But do it without whining or complaining. Do this in a straight forward manner. Here is my Christmas Letter to you my Fibromyalgia family:
My Christmas Letter to you,
When you go to your family this year for the holidays. I know you are already stressing about how it is going to go. Is Aunt Maude going to ask if you changed Drs yet so that they could cure you or Uncle Henry is going to say have you decided to get off the couch and get a job. It happens every time the family all gets together and you are so tired of it all.
This year it is going to be different, because this year, you are going to put a stop to it. Yes, this is going to be the year you are going to give yourself a present.
This year, you are going to arrive after everyone has already arrived so that you can address everyone at the same time. As soon as the first person starts with the oh so hateful comments, you are going to say STOP right there! Then you are going to ask everyone to please come into the same room with you so you only have to say this once. You are going to tell them to please listen with no interruption because this is very important. Then, you tell them you love them, but they have to stop.
Then, you say this. I want to ask you some questions:
Have you ever had the flu so bad you thought you were going to die because the pain was so bad? Do you remember how tired you were when you had the flu and how you couldn’t think about anything or remember things? When you had the flu that bad, could you work, clean the house, do the dishes, or cook? Aunt Maude, what is the highest pain that you have ever felt? Uncle Henry, have you ever had such a bad headache that you had to lay down? Cousin Mike, have you ever had fire ants crawling all over your body? Grandma, have you ever had itching all over your body so bad and you can’t get it to stop? On top of that, do any of you get dry eyes so bad you can’t see, do your teeth hurt, is your mouth dry all the time?
Well that is just part of Fibromyalgia.
I can’t stand to be touched because it hurts. Some noises bother me, smells, all of my senses are super involved. It is a central nervous system disease, I developed and I need your support, not your downgrading. When you consistently downgrade me, you increase my stress and that increases my pain. Now on top of Fibromyalgia, I have been diagnosed with (and then tell them what other diseases you have.)
Then explain to them that you will never be able to work again. That you either have disability or are applying for disability, not because you want it, because you need it. Explain that your life has been turned upside down and you hate it and that all you want from them is love and support. Then ask them if they can give it to you. Then sit back and be quiet.
God Bless you, My Friends. It is time for you to take this in your hands and end this abuse you endure every holiday season so you can enjoy it too. – Deb Lundquist- CEO Your Fibromyalgia
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