The Pressure to “Cure Yourself” When You Have a Fibromyalgia

by Julia Donnelly

“Have you tried this?” “Hey, I think this will work for you!” “Did you see this article, definitely will fix you”…… These are all things anyone suffering with a chronic illness, especially one as mysterious as fibromyalgia hear ALL THE TIME. From friends, family, co-workers, random people on social media.

Don’t get my wrong, it’s very much appreciated. There are a lot of articles available that have different natural “remedies” as well as new medications and treatments that are being researched and released. It’s too much to keep up with. It’s tough to know what is valid and tested, and what is not.

However, as much as it’s appreciated, it is just as much overwhelming. Dealing with chronic pain, fatigue, depression, amongst many other frustrating symptoms, isn’t easy. Personally, I am willing to try just about anything to get some relief. The difficult piece of this is that what can help one person, may not help another. Just because one random facebook article provided substantial relief for one person, does not mean it is cure for all those suffering.

There are people who love you, and care about you, so you have a sense of guilt to not listen and look into their “cure”, even if it’s one that you’ve tried and haven’t had success with before. The guilt is just as painful and overwhelming as the disease itself. “Why hasn’t your doctor tried this?” “What does your doctor think of this new medicine?” “Tell your doctor to do this.” “You need a new doctor.”

Another difficult situation is dealing with people passing judgement on your doctor. Fibromyalgia is still such a mystery, and so different from patient to patient, that it is just as frustrating and overwhelming for the doctor attempting to treat you.

Some of the suggestions to me over the years have been:

And the list goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve tried many of the suggested remedies, because I want relief. I want to take the help from family and friends. I want to cure myself as much as someone wants to cure me. I want a natural remedy to work because I don’t want to be on so many prescription medications. 

The reality of the situation is that right now, there is no cure.

Yes, fibromyalgia can get better. Yes, you can have good days and bad days. But, there is not cure. It will not go away. You won’t wake up one day and be magically cured after taking a few vitamins. The reality is that you can hopefully manage your fibromyalgia. There will be a lot of trial, and a lot of error, with hopefully some success. The reality is that one out of one hundred suggestions may actually provide some substantial relief.

The reality is that not everyone understands the pain and struggles that comes with any chronic illness. The reality is that the people who care about you want to help. They want to see you get relief and “cured” as much as you do. The reality is that we still want friends and family to make suggestions, because it helps us know they care. The reality is that reality isn’t optimistic. There isn’t a cure. There isn’t a magic pill.

But the reality is that you aren’t alone.

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A Fight We Must Win

Jessica Streed-Pudicombe added to it as “A Life Interrupted”

Sometimes the life we were destined to live gets intertwined in the reality of the life we are currently living. Finding the joy can become a struggle. Maintaining a positive outlook gets muddled in the challenges of each day. The happy, energetic person we once were gets lost in the stress of trying to maintain some “normalcy.” We trod through each day hoping for a miracle. In some ways we feel like we’ve been given a death sentence, but we know life will go on. Small victories become our motivation. What we once never gave a second thought to, now takes more effort. We want to live who we once were.

We want to be the person we used to be. But now, our existence has changed. We have to learn a new reality, a new way to live. No one can give us the magic cure. People will continue to doubt our pain, but we must move on. We have to forge our new path forward. Living a new reality becomes our focus. We face doubt from every direction, every day. We deal with insecurity, guilt, self doubt and lack of understanding from so many people, but yet, our life goes on. We have to figure out how to move from point “A” to point “B” without fail. We need to continue to be everything to everyone so we don’t let anyone down. We push to be the “old us,” the “us” who helped everyone, the “us” who ran our house, the “us” who could work 40+ hour weeks.

The “us” who we felt mattered.  Some day we hope to become the person we once were, the person who worked their butt off every day, the person who kept their family life flowing. The person who made a difference. We want to be the person we used to be! We want to do the things we never gave a second thought to. We want to be the person who always gave their all to every situation. We want to be “us,” once again. The person who never gave up, the person who chose to fight, head on, every day! We want the life we once had, the life that made us “normal.” We want to look past this “condition” & and be able to LIVE!!! We want to be able to say that we gave it our all! We want to be able to say that we gave it, “The Old College Try!”

We want to be able to move forward with our lives and experience the good, the bad & they ugly! We want to show the world that we are more than what our diagnosis says. Some day we may get back to some sort of normal, some kind of life we once had. Maybe someday our life will be what we once had. But for now, we have to just give it the best we can, we have to give the world the best we can muster and hope it will get us through each day. We have to wake up and do what we need to do to survive, to enjoy he best life we can. Fibromyalgia may have taken who we once were, but it will never take who we can become.

 

For support and Discussion join the group “Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness”

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Our mission is to provide valuable information, support, and tools to help individuals manage fibromyalgia and improve their quality of life. We are dedicated to raising awareness and offering guidance on treatments, self-care, and wellness strategies tailored to your unique journey.

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